


One More Moment

by Iamanerd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Lego Star Wars Holiday Special, Maybe not what they deserve but what they need, One Shot, Rey Needs A Hug, Star Wars Lego Holiday Special, and lego to boot!, so that holiday special huh, star wars holiday special, ”What does Rey want?” i am rolling my eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamanerd/pseuds/Iamanerd
Summary: I was inspired by the news of the Lego holiday special and asked myself what Rey would want for Life Day. Angst ensued (but not completely angst I promise!).or, a fic where I answer the question of, What does Rey want for life day? The answer will not surprise you.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	One More Moment

“What do you want for Life Day Rey?” asks Finn. It’s still a few weeks out from the occasion but it's an acceptable time to ask.

She doesn’t answer for a moment. Staring at the tangle of wires in front of her. “Hmm…” she intones, not quite sure what to say she gets out: “The falcon needs a new hyperdrive line. The one it has now hasn’t been replaced since before _I_ was born.” 

“No, Rey, that’s not what I mean,” Finn says. “I want to get you something that's for _you_.” 

Again, Rey tries to think of something. This time for something for _herself_. It comes harder than expected. 

Her mind goes to the Resistance and the Falcon first. The resistance– well they’re calling themselves the New Republic again– is always in need of new things. More hyperfuel, more mechanical parts, more chairs and tables for their growing numbers. And more space for the stormtrooper defectors that march in every day. Hungry and tired defectors that need beds, and civilian clothes, and rations to eat. 

Rey is tempted to tell Finn to use whatever money he had planned to use on her for them, but she suspects that he’ll object again. Saying that it’s “already his job to do all that”, and that he wants to get something nice for her. A headache starts to form as she thinks about it. 

She racks her mind for something else before remembering that, that morning Rose had complained about the Caf machine being broken on the Falcon. That’s perfect! It’s for the Falcon technically, but she’ll use it, so it can be for her. 

“You know the Caf machine on the Falcon is broken. I’ve been meaning to replace it, but it hasn’t been at the top of my priority list.” 

Rey had discovered the joys of Caf shortly after joining the Resistance. On Jakku she never considered any other beverages other than the water; necessary for life in a desert and all that, but Caf, sweet Caf. A drink that could magically make her awake enough to stay up a few more hours or feel more ready for the day sooner? It was life-changing. 

She’s also sure that if Jakku had had the capability to make or import Caf, it would've been restricted by the suppliers. A magical elixir that could increase your energy and prolong your day by a few hours? That was the difference between getting one ration pack per day versus being able to stay out for longer and get more than one and not be on the edge of starvation the next day. 

Rey had expressed all of this to Rose once, just after the battle of Crait when they had first met. Rose’s face had fallen watching Rey tell her about it and she had immediately poured her another cup. They chatted for an extra hour after that. 

“Hey! Now that sounds perfect!” 

Rey’s about to open her mouth to say something but Finn cuts her off.

“-Don’t worry. It won’t be too fancy.” 

She smiles at him.

“Maybe just a little bit though…” He says. And winks. 

Rey frowns at him but turns her attention back to the Porgs nest worth of wires in front of her. Mostly, because a family of Porgs had literally made it their home on the falcon. ” 

“What about you, hmm? What do you want for Life Day?”

“Oh, well, um… ” Finn trails off. _Of course, he had the audacity to ask her what she wanted without having an answer in return._

Knowing this line of questioning won't get her much, she asks, “Or, have you decided what you’re getting Poe?” 

Finn’s hands still, where he’s working on organizing the various tapes they use to repair different leaks. She senses in the force, a spike of panic emanating out from him. He recovers from his frozen state and continues sorting while he lets out a breath. Rey studies his face for a moment. He is unmistakably blushing. 

“Well you know... a lot has happened this year in our relationship and I thought this Life Day could be special. So...So I think I’m gonna-” He starts and stops. Flustered. And lowers his voice despite the fact that he knows she and him are the only ones on board. “I think I’m gonna get him a-”

“Finn!” Rey jumps up and cries out before he can finish. “You’re really going to propose?” 

“Yeah. I am,” he whispers harshly at her. “But I want it to be a surprise to him- **keep quiet**.” He tries to hold her by the shoulders to stop the bouncing. 

She ignores him. Breaking free from his hold and frantically waving her hands.

“Oh, Finn that’s wonderful! I’m really happy for you!” She dives in for a hug. 

“Thanks. We’ve talked about it. Kinda. We both said we couldn’t imagine a future where we were apart and well, we’re already living in the same quarters now. It just feels right.” Rey pulls back and holds him by the shoulders. 

“So have you gotten the ring yet?”

He sighs, “No not yet, too busy, but I’ve wanted to look at rings on the holonet but I’m worried that he’ll somehow see the history and know. I really want to surprise him.”

“We could go sometime. Fake a mission, go ring shopping.” She winks. 

––––––

A few weeks pass. The ring is bought and Rey lies in bed at night time on Kashyyyk. 

Chewie had invited them all to his village for the occasion. They're still a few days from Life Day, but a vacation is a vacation and they’re all loath to pass it up. Excited to take a break from trying to reform the galaxy. It’ll be nice to be here on this quiet planet, full of life and green.

She stares at the ceiling of her hut and reaches out. Trying to center herself and fall into a dreamless sleep. The force here is gentle, flowing through every vine and branch and root. The force swirls and flows in the wind and the waves of the large lakes of the planet. 

She opens her eyes and rolls over on her side. She thinks of Poe and Finn. A small smile warming her cheeks. She hopes that the proposal will go well. Finn said it was going to be a private thing he would do on Life Day– so Rey doesn’t have any special surprise to prepare for. Still, she thinks it's the best thing that Finn could get Poe. A perfect gift. 

She hadn't considered those types of things when Finn had asked her what she wanted for Life Day. To her, gifts were practical, material. Something to be used and be useful for the person receiving them. 

She hadn’t considered all the other things she could want that couldn't necessarily be bought. 

As she continues her breathing, she checks up on each of her friends in the huts near hers, they all sleep peacefully. Feeling their contentment, Leia floats into her mind. Last year, she had introduced Rey to all this Life Day business. The concept had fascinated her. 

All the gifts and the traditions and the decorations. They had nothing of the sort on Jakku. Giving someone something was only ever for trading or a bribe for your own survival. What you had was who you are on Jakku. Things weren’t given out just to be nice or to show people that you care. There was no one else to care about.

It saddens her to think of her mentor. On Life Day Leia had, for once, abandoned her General persona and allowed herself to relax for the day. Some of Rey’s favorite memories of her was of Leia with her hair down. Just her, and the rest of the team, chatting by the fire. 

She told them stories of her days before the wars; what she remembered of her home and Alderaan, and the trouble she would make for the Empire while they still believed her to be a loyal senator and princess. When she was done talking and the fire was low, she’d retire to “let the kids have their fun.”

It had turned out that the First Order hadn’t had any interest in occupying Kashyyyk. It was too hard to stage a campaign with the environment– the titanic Wroshyr trees and the various deadly creatures living in the underbrush– and the Wookies defending it to think about colonizing the planet. 

So for those moments, they were safe. Of course, the First Order is gone now, Rey tries to remind herself. But back then it was nice to have this place, this planet, full of life and free from struggle. 

Leia is gone now too. Last year was their first and last Life Day together. She shudders at the thought. Her memories now are clouded in sorrow for her old master, and the one time she saw her at peace. What she wouldn't give to see her again. 

She begins to drift, thinking of gifts and friends and family and love. Of times of warm fires and gentle hugs, surrounded by warmth and protected. A memory of warm hands holding her comes to mind. She doesn’t recognize it at first but wants to lean into the touch nonetheless. 

With a gasp, she opens her eyes and remembers where she had felt those hands before. 

Ben. It had been so short. The moment she had shared with Ben. 

She remembers his warm eyes staring at her like she was the only thing in the galaxy and his hands holding her close. She shuffles in bed as she pulls the blanket tighter around her and turns on her back as tears begin to gather in her eyes. She remembers the kiss they shared, gentle and full of promise. And when he had smiled… his big beautiful unabashed happiness had filled her with hope. Only to be torn away moments later. 

Tears fall down the sides of her face. She makes no effort to wipe them away but lets them fall. 

If she could have one gift, one true present from the galaxy this Life Day she now knows what it would be. 

––––––

Life Day passes like it did last year. Rey celebrates with her friends, they give gifts to each other in the morning and eat a big meal in the middle of the day afterwards, prepared by Chewie’s wife Mala.

Rey gets that Caf maker that Finn had promised her, and a necklace with a half-moon pendant made of silver from Rose. Poe gave her his favourite hair cream, which she and the other’s laughed off in the moment. As if Rey had any idea how to style her hair. But a pleading look from Poe told her it was meant as a serious gesture. So, in an effort to diffuse the situation, she thanked Poe sincerely and promised him she would try something new with her hair. Straight back pointed Theelin spikes were suggested by Finn. 

It’s a perfect day. No hiccups, no bumps in the road. The roast doesn’t burn and the ring isn’t misplaced. 

That, stays firmly in Finn’s pocket for most of the day. Until he and Poe go on a walk in the mid-afternoon and come back both sporting rings that they planned to give to each other. Everyone congratulates them as they come home and Rose opens up a bottle of Chandrillian Champagne to celebrate. Rey doesn’t drink. 

Despite it all, the perfect day and the wonderful gifts, she feels empty. Ever since that night in her hut, she feels hollow and cold all over again. 

After Exegol she had allowed herself to grieve, but only when she saw fit. When she was alone, and no one was near, she cried herself hoarse on the long hours sitting in hyperspace in the pilot's chair. Then, when her time was done she’d clean herself up in the refresher and pretend as nothing had happened. 

Right now she realizes she’s relapsing again. Her ability to enjoy the festivities are ruined by all the thoughts swirling through her head. She tries to pretend to act okay. She smiles and laughs at jokes and participates in every stupid holiday-themed game Poe gets them to play. 

“It’s a tradition!” He says when Finn tries to get out of the pin the eye on the Onahk game. 

But despite her best efforts, her friends notice. 

Throughout the day she is asked many a- “Are you alright?”,”Are you feeling okay hun?”, “Is it the pollen again?” when she’s trying to be inconspicuous. (Getting water from the chiller, clearing up the scraps of flimsi-wrapping used for the presents, and wiping her eyes while she watches the jungle through an open window.) 

It all falls apart a little after dinner. When their bellies are full and the dessert is being served. 

Finn and Poe are acting disgustingly lovey-dovey towards each other but Rey can’t blame them. It’s their engagement after all, they’re allowed to be happy. Rose is next to her drinking a little more heavily than she thinks is advisable for a woman of her stature, but then again Rey doesn’t drink so how should she know?  
  


It’s when Poe, holding on to Finn’s hand and staring into his eyes says, “I really wish Leia was here to see this,” that she crumbles. 

Silent hot tears collect in her eyes and streak down her face as she shovels down the last of her mashed root veg.

Rose notices first. 

“You know I would kill for the recipe for the- Rey? Are you okay?” 

The rest of the table turns and sees Rey shamefully crying into her plate. She brings a hand up and tries to wipe away a tear with her wrist. 

“I don’t know. This just started happening…” 

Rarely have any of her friends ever seen her cry. Her face flushes with embarrassment as she weeps at what's supposed to be a joyous celebration. 

“Oh Rey,” Rose says as she puts her hands across Rey’s shoulders and pulls her into a hug. 

“It’s okay. Rey, we all miss her,” says Finn leaning down and reaching for one of her hands across the table. 

She feels their sorrow in the air. Rey misses Leia, sometimes to the point of it physically hurting to think about it. 

But she wasn’t thinking about Leia. 

Shame rises in her as she sobs again and takes the napkin from the table to dry her face. 

“I’m sorr-” 

“Don’t.” Finn gets out before she has the chance to apologize. “It’s okay.” 

Chewie’s roar sounds from the head of the table, followed by a soft mewl. 

“Thank you. I just... I just need a moment.” Rey says as she places the napkin down on her plate and stands up from her chair. 

She moves through Chewie's house and out the front door. Closing it behind her. 

At the table, Finn pushes his chair back to go after her. But as he stands Poe puts a hand on her shoulder. 

“She just needs some time to herself. She’ll be okay.” 

It fights against every protective instinct Finn has for his very first friend, but he sits back down at the table. 

––––––

Outside, Rey maneuvers around the great tree that houses Chewie's home. She walks along the branches and uses the Wookie-made ladders and stairs to keep moving higher and higher. When she comes to a stop, she uses the force to pull a vine from the next tree over to her. 

She fists the vine tightly in her hand and wraps it up and around one foot before pushing off and swinging to the next tree. She does this again and again with no joy. Letting instinct guide her to the next branch. She speeds up as she lets the movement take her. Running and leaping from tree to tree, branch to branch. No adrenaline rush or excitement, just anything to push her forwards. The tears that fall dry on her face in the wind and make it feel tight. 

She comes to a stop on the last of the great trees. On the edge of one of Kashyyyk’s oceanic-sized lakes. 

Her heart pounds in her chest as she slows. Walking to a flat portion of branch that splits upwards in two directions. She moves to the edge. The branch stretches so far away from the trunk of the tree that it hangs over the lake. She walks forward to the edge and sits between where the branch splits to the left and right. One of her feet dangles off the side of the branch in front of her, and she plants the other upright bent close to her body to hug it. Rey leans forward and rests her head on her knee. 

Light rapidly fades around her. The long shadows of the great trees are cast onto the lake. Looking down and out across the lake she watches the sun’s reflection in it. The sun sets behind her here. If she were to turn around and look into the sky she wouldn’t be able to see it as it set– the foliage and canopy too thick to let the light through– but she can see it from this angle. 

She sits and watches and listens to the sounds of the forest. Breathing faultily in a faux meditation. 

When the tears appear again despite her intention. She lets them pummel through her. Tears roll down her cheeks and into the fabric of her pants where she hides from the sun behind her knee. Some tears manage to slip off her face and fall all the way to the lake, a thousand feet below. 

After a while, she has control of her breathing but not her tears as she grits her teeth and says, “Just one moment.” 

No one is around to hear her. 

“Just one moment more, Ben. That’s all I need.” 

She lets her foot fall off the edge so she can wrap her arms around herself. Before she didn’t feel the chill of the night, now she does. 

She only had had one moment with him. One precious gentle moment that came after the chaos on Exegol. Where she had awoken in his arms and he had held her like something to be treasured. 

“If I can have one gift this year… please,” she begs. “One more moment.” 

She imagines it now. She reaches out into the evening air and remembers the curve of his jaw and the silkiness of his hair under her fingers, his face umared by the nasty scar she had given him. His hand had cupped the back of her neck and now she leans back into the memory. And when she had looked at him and known. Truly known that it was her Ben. And he had come back for her and she kissed him. She remembers the gentle warding look he had given her before she dove in and connected their faces. Soft and slow, containing all the joy and love she could hope to express. 

As she holds her hands out now, she can feel how his face stretched into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. And how she had stoked his face sharing, in his utter elation. His arms, sliding around her waist to clasp her hand between them. The final squeeze of her hand as his face fell and she was pulled forward with him- 

Rey’s eyes snap back open as she remembers where she sits. She catches herself but just barely, on the two branches to her sides as she gasps out a breath and the absolute darkness of the water below her on the lake fills her vision. Her nails dig into bark as she pulls herself back from where she’s bent over the edge. 

She turns away from the water and her dilutions as she heads home. 

––––––

It’s very late by the time Rey finally makes it back to Chewie’s. The moon rises and lights what it can through the foliage to guide her home. Rey knows her friends must be worried for her, but after today she just needs to put her head on her pillow and sleep. 

Rey avoids the main house and makes it to the small, one-bedroom hut she’s been staying in. She enters and closes the door behind her. 

The hut she left this morning is not the hut she returns to tonight. For one, it’s cleaner than she had left it. Her clothes are clean and folded on top of the dresser to her left. The bed is made. 

In the rush this morning, she had allowed herself to neglect her room because Finn was up at the crack of dawn banging down her door yelling at her to “Get up Sleep-walker! It’s Life Day.” 

_Mala must’ve been through here._

Mala’s always been very motherly towards Rey– in the way that a Wookie of a completely different species can be. She gives Rey hairy hugs and extra portions of whatever she cooks. 

_Mala must’ve come through here after she stormed out and cleaned up for her._ It’s nice. Really, it’s what she thinks a mother should do. It’s a gesture that makes her feel thought of and cared for without intruding on her privacy too hard. 

Rey reaches up to let her hair down, playing with the pins Rose had put there that morning and lets her eyes sweep across the room. She notices something on the bed. 

Folded perfectly, atop her sheets is a piece of worn black fabric. 

Panic runs through her as she realizes what it is. 

It’s his shirt, Ben’s shirt. And it had been rolled up with her sheets and her pillows for the past few weeks because she had slept with it beside her. She couldn’t explain why, it didn’t smell of him anymore. It just gave her some comfort. The soft fabric was the last thing she had left of him. 

She had been tempted to go back to Exegol to look for his blaster. To have something else to hold onto, but fear had kept her away. 

_But Mala had come in here! Why did she leave this on the bed instead of putting it with her other clothes? Had she known?_

Rey picks up the folded fabric in her hands seeking some comfort. It’s soft and warm as she brings it to her face. She lets the fabric run against her cheek; she notes that she feels no discomfort, just the soft of the cloth. No scratching, no singed and hardened edge of fabric that her face often catches on. Evidence from where she had plunged his lightsaber into his torso. None of that. Just softness. 

She brings the shirt from her face to examine it. She runs her hands around the inside and outside of the back and front of the shirt. Feeling for the hole, or maybe a stitch if Mala had mended it while she had been away. 

She finds neither, just smooth uninterrupted fabric. Like it never had been damaged in the first place. 

She completely unfolds the shirt and holds it up in front of her by the shoulders. She sees nothing but the shirt.

As she flips it around and crumples it in her hands, something small from inside falls unto the bed. 

She looks down. 

It's a crystal. She picks it up and knows it is _his_ crystal. Rey doesn’t know how it got there but feels it in the force. It’s smooth and unbroken. Not cracked like the one in his sabre blade had been before. She knows this is the same kyber crystal, but now it’s healed and whole. 

_How did it find her?_ When he had arrived on Exegol he didn’t have his lightsaber and she didn’t know what had happened to it. 

It doesn’t matter though. It sings with the essence of him. She holds it in both hands and brings it up near her heart. Squeezing it tightly, and holding in a deep breath. 

It’s then, when she feels a funny sensation on her neck. Like a feather, playing gently with the ends of her hair. Then it’s warmer and smoother and feels more whole. It creeps up and over her shoulder to rest there. A second– hand? does the same thing, this time resting in her hair. 

She should feel scared or frightened, but she doesn’t because she knows whose hands those are. Tears swell in her eyes again for the millionth time today. 

Ben’s hands cup her head and run through her hair. Massaging it, letting it cascade over her shoulders. 

And this isn’t a memory or a vision. In life, she had never experienced this, but she’s getting her wish. She’ll enjoy it for as long as she can. 

As he cards his hands through her hair, she feels the warm sensation of him leaning down to press a kiss to her hair. She smiles through the tears and takes one of her hands and tenderly moves it behind her to still his hand. Thankfully, she doesn’t catch just air but feels the warmth of skin as he clutches her hand. 

It frightens her, what she’ll see if she turns around, but she has to do it. She turns and… 

Sees nothing. 

Just the stillness of her own hut at night. And the lantern that casts light into the room. 

But she can still feel the weight of his hand in her own. It squeezes her again, and she knows, despite the fact that she cannot see him. That he is with her. 

Tears stream down her face, and finally, finally, she has someone else to wipe them away. His thumb swipes back a forth across her face, as she smiles happily up at where she thinks his face is. 

He brings both of his hands down to hold her own. Then, brings them both up in front of her as he presses a kiss to her knuckles of her left hand. It’s soft and sweet and makes her heart flutter with emotion, just like she remembers. 

She keeps the one hand up by his face, reaching out and feeling his warm cheek under her palm. He smiles and she can feel the crinkle and the dimples on his face. 

To her other hand, the one still closed, holding the crystal. He taps three times with his finger before pressing a kiss to that one too. 

_So that’s how he’s doing this._ She thinks but does not care too much to untangle. _He’s here,_ that’s all she needs. 

Eventually, his hands let go of hers and he slides them around her and pulls her close. She buries her head in his chest and, for the first time in a long time, feels at peace. 

He presses his lips to her hairline and says some three-worded thing, into her hair. She can’t hear him, with whatever this is, but she feels the vibrations of his words on her head. And she knows in her heart that he means them. 

Eventually, she’ll put his kyber on a leather necklace so he can always be near her, but tonight she just enjoys his arms around her. 

It's the best gift she could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> So hey is this a good time to mention that I've never written a fic before? This is my first! So yeah unbeta'd and all that, if someone's maybe interested in beta-ing what I want to make after all this my tumblr is [here!](https://iamanerd1.tumblr.com/) Please I don't know anybody here and I am scared of twitter.
> 
> Also, feel free to make any “all I want for Christmas is you” jokes in the comments.


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